Legal Humor

The following are actual statements placed on insurance forms where the car’s driver attempted to summarize the details of their accident in the fewest words possible.

• The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over an embankment.
• In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone poll.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
• I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
• I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.